It was just after flushing the toilet and placing the the toilet roll up on to the highest shelf in the bathroom that the idea for this post came to me (I know – it’s a glamorous life this blogging business).
Despite being the kind of pre-child parent who insisted that children would never rule my life, I have come to realise that we are utterly owned by our toddlers – hiding the toilet roll so it doesn’t end up being eaten, unrolled in full and stuffed in the bowl or mummifying the cat is just the start of it.
If anyone is familiar with Feng Shui (the art of arranging your home to create a good flow of ‘chi’ or life energy) well it’s kind of like the opposite of that in our house – organising furniture to impede the energy of a 2 and a 1 year old.
Here are just a few looks that you may just recognise if you have also have a toddling tornado living with you.
In fact there are 3 points visible in this picture – number one – note the ‘surround’ sound speakers that can’t surround anything except a corner of the room where they can’t be climbed up or used as rocket ships. Number 2 -the cupboards on the TV unit have the door knobs removed – despite this you may also notice that there is nothing in there anymore (the lack of a door handle deterred them for about 45 minutes from scattering a collection of DVDs and spare cables throughout the house and garden.) Number 3 – back to front furniture. A new design look soon to be seen taking off. This style looks especially chic if you have favoured the flat pack furniture choice and are now faced with various views of plyboard throughout the house. This shelf unit contains the wifi modem and the landline phone – absolute prime real estate in a toddler’s eyes. Also note that we’ve not yet been smart enough to rearrange the wires so they are not brazenly provoking swinging, pulling and possible electrocution. I’m onto it as we speak.
This is a photo of our breakfast bar. Except for about the past 8 months we’ve not been able to eat breakfast, or any other meal, or even just have a cup of tea there for that matter, as apparently placing a stool next to anything in the house is an invitation for our youngest to climb it and wreak the most havoc possible from his new vantage point. We’ve started calling him ‘spider baby’ and would not be surprised to find him on the roof at any given time.
Since our youngest has been able to crawl it’s become downright reckless to store anything on low shelves. Jars, bags, boxes, childproof locks…nothing can keep him out. I’m anticipating a call from the Oceans Eleven crew to get him on their team for the next heist – especially if they are in the game for breaking into some Doritos and Tim Tams for breakfast.
In sharp contrast to Exhibit C – every toddler reachable drawer in the kitchen is FULL of unbreakable and hopefully interesting enough stuff to keep them out of the oven/dishwasher/bin cupboard. It’s a losing battle but at least now every morning while I’m trying to cook breakfast the floor is strewn with Tupperware and sippy cups just to keep me on my toes and ensure I’m getting some healthy exercise each day.
There once was a lovely indoor plant and a Tiffany lamp in this corner. We remember them both fondly.
Possibly one of the saddest photos you’ll see today. The beloved wine rack has been relegated to a shoe, book and lamp stand in the spare room – moonlighting as a toddler ladder in it’s spare time. To be honest though at the moment there’s no wine in our house that lasts long enough to be stored anyways.
Feel free to use any of these tips in your own home and please let me know below of any interior design gems you’ve got going on at your place.