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You are here: Home / Travel / A letter to my amphibious Aussie mates

A letter to my amphibious Aussie mates

March 17, 2016 by Bryony @ Coasting Australia 2 Comments

Dear Aussies,

This is a heartfelt letter to all you amphibious Aussies out there taking on the ocean like its a back yard paddling pool. That huge expanse of salty, wavey water is home to many a creature but not humans for many, many years. Our land is girt by sea – I get it – and it comes as naturally to you as putting vegemite on your toast in the morning.

Only understand this – It’s not natural. You jump into the surf in clothes you just went to the pub in and get out looking like someone from a surf magazine.

I was brought up on the north west coast of England where the sea was something to be absolutely feared. We may go paddling in the choppy water with the grey clouds looming overhead and the waves crashing noisily a few hundred yards out but swimming in there was never, ever, ever entertained. And this is in Blackpool where never a shark, crocodile or jellyfish has ever been seen.

And yet….

You make it look bloody inviting and oh so simple.

Waves

This looks like a lovely place to sit

Just recently I was at the beach with a couple of Aussie mates who were hanging out just past the break having a lovely conversation – bobbing along and occasionally pausing mid sentence to duck underneath a wave if it was too big and breaking a bit early. Do they teach this shit in school here or what? And a few metres behind them was me getting smashed in the face by waves whilst trying to look cool.  My reason for not going past the break? The water was at least chest height which at the time seemed a much scarier concept.
My friends emerge from the ocean a few minutes later after a nice relaxing dip looking like pro surfers whilst I emerge out of the surf wearing half a bikini and expelling sea water/seaweed/small sea creatures from my nose – missing  jewellery and decorum.

I’ve not taken my duties as an Australian lightly – believe me over the years I’ve braved many a session with the sea. My first and last ever surf lesson still gives me nightmares as I recall the cool surf instructor dudes chatting up the very capable 18 year olds in the class as I was dragged towards the rocks on a rip. I think in the end I was saved by a passing school kid out for a swim but to be honest it’s still all a bit of a traumatic blur.

To be fair it’s not just the Ocean that causes me problems – I’ve had a few panicky moments in sedate swimming pools too and as an Aussie citizen I feel I’m letting the side down every time I approach the water.

whitewater

Another relaxing day on the water

So please fellow countrymen if you see me thinking it looks pretty pleasant out there just remember we weren’t all born in board shorts with a snorkel in our mouth.

Please just take my hand and lead me to the nearest ice cream van or donkey ride, or sit me with the toddlers building castles in the sand where a native Blackpool girl really belongs.

surf

10 metre waves about to hit

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Filed Under: Australia, Ocean, Surfing, Travel, White Water Rafting

Comments

  1. Jamie says

    January 11, 2017 at 2:19 am

    Hello Northern Mum,

    If you ever get the chance speak to one of the friendly volunteer life savers about the ocean. Or even better get in on the action and do your Bronze Medallion it will make you the most confident person out there. Now i have been a water baby since my mother sat on the beach at Bondi and let me run around nude, but having had a bad stint at a surf lesson myself I became fearful of the water, so i took up my bronze medallion at my local surf club and having not only gained back my confidence, I have a whole new community. So much so that I do water safety for learn to swim groups, just recent I have a lovely Brittish lass come out with the group who’d never been past her knees, she’s now swimming 1.5km in the ocean. Moral of the story, if you are completely fulfilled by your ice cream keep on keeping on, if you have a bit of envy for the more marine types you’re just a few good people away from a life in the ocean 🙂

    Reply
    • Jamie says

      January 11, 2017 at 2:21 am

      Im not sure why I failed so badly at English, i’ll blame it on the heat.

      Reply

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