Why did I ever think that I was busy? Or tired? I’ll tell you why.
I was busy drinking shots and tired from dancing on tables until 4am. That’s not real tired! That’s pretend tired – it’s ‘ I’ve had 14 hours sleep so feel groggy and hungover’ tired – not ‘I’ve not had more than 1.5hrs unbroken sleep for 10 months’ tired.
OK my job was stressful and demanding but it didn’t learn to say the word mama over and over in a whiney voice (is that how I talk? He must have learned it somewhere?) and I did get the occasional day off. Which looking back I’m pretty sure I wasted – probably languishing in my bed all day after aforementioned shots and tables.
Talking to a friend last week he was also perplexed as to what we did with our lives pre baby. He recalled being a teenager and being bone tired after a day at school – coming home and having to sit down and watch TV for a bit as he was so zapped. His mother must have wanted to bitch slap him. Countless friends with parents of older kids often tell us that we’ll be doing it the other way around in a few years – especially as we have 2 boys – we’ll be dragging them up out of bed at 11am to start the day. Right now I cannot imagine this. I will let them sleep! And I will sleep! We will be the nocturnal family of the neighbourhood and will rely on delivery pizzas and late night movies for sustenance and entertainment. Maybe I’ll learn to play the Z-Box or whatever computer craze we are up to by the 2030s (wow that makes me feel old.)
I will spend my 50s being a teenage boy. I will laze with them on the sofa and not shower. We will do no laundry and buy new clothes when we have nothing left clean. I will spend their formative years catching up on the sleep I am losing now safe in the knowledge that they are also safe in their beds, in no possible way up to no good and I’m not missing out on any important milestones or moments.
If we are blessed then my parents will still be going strong and I will convince them to move in with us and look after us all. I can relive my teenage-hood as my mid life crisis (this time maybe retaining some memories and self respect? Ha! That’s half the fun right?)
I’m sure at some point the boys will demand clean socks and a normal mother and I will laugh at them – in the same way they chuckle at me now at 3am when getting up for the day – and I will return to my game of Call of Duty 46 and last night’s leftover pizza.